About

Hello Readers!!

I decided to write this blog in an attempt to spread awareness about the horrible reality of eating disorders. I have been suffering from an eating disorder for years and I continue to struggle with it every day of my life. My hope is that I might deter even one person from going down the same path that I have. Eating disorders are a slippery slope to an unimaginable amount of suffering. I thought I was in control until one day I realized that I just wasn’t. For anyone who is thinking about trying to develop an eating disorder, please think twice. It really is its own sort of hell. And once you start, good luck turning back.

I am currently working towards recovery from bulimia but it is not an easy process. Every day is a struggle, though some days are definitely easier than others. I have had my ups and downs, and I would be lying if I said that I have never relapsed, but at least I can say that I am trying.

I have also suffered from generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and self-harm. Each and everyone of these mental illnesses have at one point or another been a daily battle for me, though I have learned to live with the conditions as a result of my ongoing therapy. For anyone who is interested in gaining information about any of the latter mental illnesses (or any mental illness in general) I would like to welcome you to my blog and I encourage you to follow me. While I am certainly not a professional (yet!), I hope that my personal experiences will be of help to others who are going through a similar experience.

If you are interested, you can contact me via email at aworldwithoutstigma@gmail.com if you have any questions or if you need additional support!

xo

Ayla

17 thoughts on “About

  1. youngandtwenty says:

    I love the honesty of your blog. I started mine to help myself as well as others in similar situations and I can’t believe how much it’s helped me. I hope you find the same sense of comfort. Keep up the great blogging!

  2. relaxdamit says:

    Never giving up is a great Title. As an individual I have been dealing with Mental illness my entire life though I was diagnosed about 10 years ago. My son has similar challenges that I have as well as Ausbergers Syndrome. Today I just found out from a friends parent that my daughter is cutting herself. I loved reading things from your perspective. I was hoping that my daughter would be spared any form of mental illness but it is a new challenge our family will rise to.

    • Aylalala_xo says:

      I’ve recently started focusing my therapy sessions on dealing with self harm. If it helps your daughter at all, the one thing that I have found that helps is making a list of 5 things to try before cutting. It doesn’t mean she isn’t allowed to cut, it just means she will try at least 5 things first. For me my 5 activities include playing guitar, journaling, listening to music, reading a chapter of a book and going for a walk. Itself not a guaranteed fix and it doesn’t work every time but it has definitely helped me.

      I cannot imagine how you must be feeling. I have never been able to tell my parents about my self harm, eating disorder, or any of my other mental health issues. I feel as though it would only end up hurting them if they knew. As a result, I have been dealing with this on my own with the help of my psychologist.

      The one thing that I think is important for you to know from the perspective of the self-harmer is that she can only change if she wants to. Try to encourage your daughter to recover but don’t do anything too intrusive (ie. Checking her body for cuts). I hope she is able to overcome her self-harm. Its a really hard thing to struggle with but I think it will be worth it in the end.

      Xo
      Ayla

      • relaxdamit says:

        Thanks for the advice. When I say I just found out, I mean it was in the last hour. She is still in school for the day. So when I pick her up this afternoon I can’t even say anything until my wife and I get a chance to talk about it.

      • Aylalala_xo says:

        okay, in that case, if I was in your daughter’s position, I would want you to be calm. The one thing my parents often do when they are upset is just yell which usually only makes it worse.
        I can only imagine how terrified you are, but remember that self-harm is usually not a suicidal behavior; it is a coping mechanism. Try to address it as such.
        Also keep in mind that I am a 20 year old with absolutely no parenting experience so I am saying this will absolutely no idea how to approach this from a parental level. But as a general rule staying calm is probably going to be better. You don’t want her to get defensive and potentially end up hurting herself again.

      • relaxdamit says:

        Thank you for the advice. Yelling is something we try to avoid in this house. With my Son and I both being Bipolar there is enough volatility to go around as it is.
        As a parent who struggles with mental illness myself I understand that I don’t know what she is going through and I will never pretend that I do. I hate it when people think they get it. That said i do know what it feels like to struggle so I can be empathetic.

      • Aylalala_xo says:

        I think your daughter is lucky to have such an understanding parent. I tried to open up to my parents 3 times about my anxiety issues and they told me that it was my own fault. Looking back, if I had received the help that I have now back when I was 14 I probably would not be dealing with as much as I am now. Not that I think it is their fault, but there refusal to help me and their insistence that it is my own fault has not made it any easier to bear.

      • Stacy Lee Flury says:

        My daughter also self-harmed as a coping mechanism. Remember, that self-harm is a symptom, not the root of the problem. What helped my daughter immensely is that I allowed her to write with marker (even permanent) any words or feelings anywhere on her body INSTEAD of cutting. I also encouraged her to write rap songs or write in another type of genre of music how she was feeling. I took it a step further and asked her (with my camera) to take pics of herself and use a photoshop site like picmonkey to edit the picture however she wanted. I didn’t care how dark it was or deep it was. The idea was to use those feelings she was having and make them creative. The last thing I did was paint her room with black chalkboard paint. She could use chalk and write out how she was feeling. All of these incorporated with counseling, she is not self-harm free for over a year and doesn’t want to go back to it (her words). She realized that she can expressed her hurt, anger, pain in other ways without putting herself physically in jeopardy. I hope this helps. I really love the honesty of this site and I pray that Ayla you will come to a point of healing in your life through this blog and with God’s help.

      • Aylalala_xo says:

        Thank you so much!! This is so encouraging! Everyday is a struggle and even though it’s not that much im happy to say ive been self harm free for 2 days:) thanks for your supportive comment, it means a lot:)

  3. Stacy Lee Flury says:

    Well, each day is a day of victory and something you should be proud of. Don’t worry if you slip once in a while. It happens. The idea is to keep moving forward, motivating yourself and not trying to make others happy. Because in the end, you are the one that lives your life and need to live it abundantly. Same goes with your eating. Don’t punish yourself because you fail. It happens. Instead of trying to make all these plans of how you are going to eat, just take it one day at a time. Matthew 6:34 says this – “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. So live each hour of the day and don’t worry about the next day. That is too much pressure on yourself and you shall surely fail. And give yourself kudos for what you have accomplished. Focus on the positive not the negative. It’s like writing in a journal, every negative thing you write, write 2 positive things. It doesn’t matter if you struggled for days or years. Only you can take the will within you and change it around. But do it slowly and reasonably. I’m already proud of you for the 2 days. 😀

  4. Amy says:

    I love your attitude of never giving up, that is what it takes and how I was able to recover from my ten year struggle with bulimia. That was almost 27 years ago. You can do it too! Thank you for being brave enough to share your story.

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