Today was really hard. I finally told my doctor that I think I have an eating disorder. I’ve been worried about the appointment for weeks now because I was afraid my doctor would freak out and make me get a bunch of tests done but it wasn’t that bad. It was really hard for me to talk about everything openly because I’ve been doing everything I can to hide it for so long. But I think I made the right decision. Even if I’m not ready to change yet, its good to finally have it off my chest. I thought for sure my doctor would pressure me to go to a psychologist or something but he didn’t even mention it.
I’m still really scared for what is going to happen in the future now that my doctor knows, and I’m really tempted to try to make it seem like I’m getting better at my next appointment, but I’m going to try to fight this.
I still couldn’t find the strength to tell my closest friends, but I will get there in time.
One step at a time.