Life is such a mystery. When I was younger I thought I had my life all planned out. I was going to go to university, become a dietitian, open my own practice and buy my own home complete with two pugs. I had everything all planned out. The irony of the situation is that I am now in a situation where I will possibly have to go see a dietitian depending on the results of my evaluation tomorrow. I have to be assessed for an eating disorder and trauma-related issues. Needless to say I’m really nervous, but that’s getting off topic.
The fact of the matter is, I had this whole plan for my life mapped out and now the life that I’m living is completely different than my initial plan. I’m not studying to become a dietitian, although I wish I had entered the healthcare sector. Nothing has gone quite the way I have planned so I have come to realize that nothing is predetermined. Nothing is left up to “fate”. Everything is changing all of the time. Nothing is ever static.
This gives me hope for the future, but it is also a daunting thought. Yes, my life could start looking up in the near future; but, its also possible that my life could continue to fall apart until one day I can’t possibly shatter anymore.
I guess what is important is what I choose to do with myself in order to change the course of my life. I think this realization might have had something to do with my decision to finally see a psychologist. It was like I was just expecting everything to just get better on its own without putting any effort in. But I realize now that it wont happen that way and therefore, if I want things to change, I need to do something. So even though I’m really scared about my appointment tomorrow, I hope it will be one step towards a happier future.
Wish me luck!