Busy Busy Busy

The last few weeks have been so busy! I’ve been falling behind on my blogging. Basically the last few weeks have been spent working, getting ready for my 4th year of university, figuring out what I want to do with my life, and doing a lot of self-reflection. 

I’ve come to realize that I changed a lot of who I am to make other people like me better, and in the end they leave. I feel like everyone is destined to grow apart and go their own way, some more abruptly than others. Sometimes you really only have yourself so it is really important to make sure you look out for yourself. I’ve learned that by changing who I am to relate to other people more I have essentially betrayed myself. I criticize other people for abandoning me, but in the end I abandoned myself even before everyone else abandoned me. Then I’m left to pick up the broken pieces of who I was and put it back together again.

But the good news is that I grow as a person.As each and every new person comes in and out of my life, I grow as a person and learn from my mistakes. I’ve been feeling really down lately because I recently lost a really good friend who decided that they just didn’t have time for me in their life but then I realized that I wasn’t really sad, but angry. I sacrificed SO much for this person and they still left me. But I’ve become stronger because of it. 

Every new scar is a lesson. A reminder. It doesn’t matter if it is physical, mental, or emotional scar. Its all the same. It means I healed. It means I triumphed over my struggles. It means I am stronger than I was before. 

As long as you learn from your mistakes, you will never truly have made a mistake; you will have learned a lesson.

xo

Ayla

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