I remember a few months ago I reached out to a friend of mine who used to suffer from Bulimia. I told her what I was going through and how I didn’t know what to do. She told me that I can’t keep pushing people away because that will lead to isolation which can lead to other problems like depression.
I didn’t really listen.
Now depression is my reality.
I’ve been feeling alone a lot lately. I have nobody to turn to; all of the people who I used to go to for support have hurt me in some way or another over the last few weeks and I have shut them out because I can’t handle any more emotional pain. I couldn’t just let it go because I felt so tired of letting people walk all over me. Instead, I am stubborn and I refuse to give in. I refuse to let them make me feel like I am overreacting. But now I feel even more alone.
I literally have nobody to talk to about anything. I feel like I’m on the verge of tears 90% of the time. I have no motivation to do anything that I used to enjoy. Social interactions make me anxious. I push everyone away. I’m in a horrible mood all the time. I don’t even want to get out of bed. I don’t even really want to talk to anyone. And to top it off I freak out on people for no reason.
I feel like I’m losing my mind. I don’t know how to pull myself out of this. I don’t even know who I can talk to.
I never realized how easy it is to slip into depression. And I definitely didn’t realize how difficult it would be to bring myself back out of it.
Does anyone have any advice?