Depression is in session

I remember a few months ago I reached out to a friend of mine who used to suffer from Bulimia. I told her what I was going through and how I didn’t know what to do. She told me that I can’t keep pushing people away because that will lead to isolation which can lead to other problems like depression.

I didn’t really listen.

Now depression is my reality.

I’ve been feeling alone a lot lately. I have nobody to turn to; all of the people who I used to go to for support have hurt me in some way or another over the last few weeks and I have shut them out because I can’t handle any more emotional pain. I couldn’t just let it go because I felt so tired of letting people walk all over me. Instead, I am stubborn and I refuse to give in. I refuse to let them make me feel like I am overreacting. But now I feel even more alone.

I literally have nobody to talk to about anything. I feel like I’m on the verge of tears 90% of the time. I have no motivation to do anything that I used to enjoy. Social interactions make me anxious. I push everyone away. I’m in a horrible mood all the time. I don’t even want to get out of bed. I don’t even really want to talk to anyone. And to top it off I freak out on people for no reason.

I feel like I’m losing my mind. I don’t know how to pull myself out of this. I don’t even know who I can talk to.

I never realized how easy it is to slip into depression. And I definitely didn’t realize how difficult it would be to bring myself back out of it.

Does anyone have any advice?

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3 thoughts on “Depression is in session

  1. emilyvsim says:

    Remember that the way you feel right now won’t last forever. When we’re hit by the deepest parts of depression, it seems like we’ll never get through it, but that’s not true. Just let yourself slow down. If you feel like you need to give yourself a day where all you do is stay in bed, then do it, and don’t put yourself down for it. But at the same time, if it feels like it might be something more serious, or if it’s brought on by a medicine change, make sure you call the doctor. (I only throw that in because I had that issue just the other week.) Remember that you are not alone, even if you feel like you are. Make yourself a list of people who love you and will always be there for you, and even if your list is one person long and your mom, that’s okay, because it’s proof that you aren’t alone. If you need to cry, do it, because that can be a great therapy. Listen to the song “I Believe” by Christina Perri on repeat, until you start to believe the words she’s singing. You’ll get through this.

    • Aylalala_xo says:

      Thank you so much, I love Christina Perri so that is definitely a great song for me to listen to. But the problem is I literally have nobody to talk to about this. My parents don’t really think that I have a legitimate problem so I never told them I go to therapy. To top it off my closest friends are doing more harm than good right now by constantly hurting me. I really have no idea what to do except throw myself into school work…

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