This is not the end of me; This is the beginning,

We’ve all heard it time and time again: “live in the moment”. And while it can definitely be a good thing to do, there are also benefits to thinking about the future. For one, if you are struggling with something in this present moment, it can be helpful to think about how your struggle won’t necessarily last forever.

Alternatively, it can be great to think about all of the things that you want to do in the future in order to give yourself a reason to keep on fighting. For a long time I felt so lost; I felt like I had no purpose. However, lately I have been feeling really hopeful and at peace with myself. I’ve been more optimistic and I’m working towards achieving my goals for the future. Over the last few days I’ve been happier than I have been in a long time, and tonight in particular I’ve felt so free and independent.

Thinking about the future really helps me to focus on working towards something that matters to me. I’ve essentially assigned myself a purpose for my future. This doesn’t mean that I’ve figured out my life goal, but it means that I am giving myself small goals to work towards.

Right now I have a mental list of things that I want to achieve, but I’m planning to make a written list really soon so that I can not only have something to look forward to, but also so that I can look back on everything that I have achieved once I cross some of these goals off my list.

If you are feeling really hopeless or unhappy, I would encourage you to make your own list of dreams, goals, and hopes for the future. Even if it does not change your mood or outlook instantaneously it might just give you a reason to keep on fighting.

I’ve come a long way in the last few weeks and I am so proud to say that I am 19 days free of self-harm as of today. It hasn’t been easy, but my new-found optimism is certainly helping me keep on going down the path to recovery. I know that the next few months are going to be some of the hardest months that I will ever have to face, but there is going to be a light at the end of the tunnel.

This is not the end of me; this is the beginning.

xo

Ayla

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