Now is all we’ve got

Now is all we’ve got

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about where I want my life to take me and who I want to be in the future. A lot of the time this can be really inspiring because of all of the potential in the world, but at other times it can be really intimidating. Sometimes the future can be a really daunting thing that we have to face which can lead to a lot of unwanted stress.

Right now I’m faced with these daunting and stressful thoughts about the future as a result of an upcoming appointment which could change the course of my life forever. It’s times like these that my therapist encourages me to use “Radical Acceptance” and accept that which is unacceptable. But the problem is that acceptance does not necessarily mean that I will not feel stress or anxiety about the upcoming appointment. In fact, I accepted the inevitability of this appointment months ago, but that doesn’t make it any easier to think about.

After countless nights spent tossing and turning thinking about this appointment that has not even been scheduled yet, I realized that I really do need to stop worrying so much. I realize that now is the only thing that I have and I need to focus on the present. I can’t keep stressing myself out and counting down the days until the dreadful appointment will become a reality. Instead I need to live for the small joys that I get to experience every day. What is the sense in worrying about something that has not even arrived yet? Or in worrying about an outcome that I have very little control over for that matter?

It seems like such a silly mantra, but it’s the truth. The here and now really is the only thing that we have for sure. The future isn’t a guaranteed thing so we need to start living in the moment and appreciating what we have. Even though I know that this appointment is literally one of the last things that I want to face right now, I know that there are a lot of people in situations that are a lot worse than my own.

So, with that in mind, I have challenged myself to go the entire day tomorrow without talking about the appointment that I am dreading so much. Perhaps if I stop talking about it with friends so much I will be able to distract myself with other conversations and subject matter.

Here goes nothing!

Xo

Ayla

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