Hello lovely readers of the internet!
Yesterday marked my very first day of employment at my new job and I think it went really well! I had a lot of anxiety leading up to 5pm when my shift started, but once I got there I felt relaxed, welcomed, and at ease with the environment.
As I mentioned before, I’ve been hired at a bookstore, but not just any bookstore; it’s my favorite store on the entire face of this planet! I love books and I love reading and I absolutely LOVE the atmosphere of the store where I’m working. For me, bookstores are my happy place. Therefore, my new place of employment is my happy place! Now I have an excuse to spend hours upon hours in a bookstore talking to people about books and making recommendations as well as receiving recommendations from customers!
With all of that excitement out of the way, I’m still experiencing a lot of anxiety in the lead up to my next shift. I work again tomorrow and I’m extremely nervous. The rational part of my brain knows that I really enjoyed my first shift, but the anxious part of my brain is hung up on all of the things that I still have to learn and all of the co-workers that I still have to meet. I know that this anxiety will fade as I get accustomed to the new environment and learn the ins and outs of my role, but I’m still having trouble fighting off the anxious thoughts and I’ve spent 95% of my day today sitting in bed reading and browsing the internet in order to distract myself from my anxiety. Today is just one of those days where I need to take a break from the world and withdraw into my own space to ease my worries and feel more at ease.
The one thing that is really helping me keep the anxiety at bay is the memory of how enjoyable the job was during my first shift. I remember feeling calm and comfortable and I remember being capable of performing all of the assigned duties without too much of a learning curve. I feel as though I will learn the job really quickly and I’m very comfortable talking to people in a customer service role so I know without a doubt in my mind that I CAN do it. I know that I am more than capable of doing the job and being an excellent employee for my new place of employment.
Positive self-affirmations like the latter thoughts are really helping me stay grounded in reality. The anxious thoughts try to pull me into the unrealistic worst-case-scenario and I just have to keep reminding myself of the reality of my experiences during my first shift. My first day of work serves as proof that I am capable of doing well. I will get through my shift tomorrow just as I got through my shift yesterday. I feel anxious now and I will probably feel anxious tomorrow morning, but chances are that I will feel totally fine once I get there and get back into the swing of things.
Plus, this job will be good for me because it will force me to get out of the house. I’ve been off work for 6-7 weeks now and the majority of that time has been spent sitting alone in my apartment on my computer or reading a book. This job will force me to have more social interactions and get out of my apartment into the hustle and bustle of life which will be a good transitional step between now and September when I start my Masters degree.
Here’s to hoping my shift tomorrow goes well and is as enjoyable as my first day!!
Thanks for reading.